Review Of Every* Website I’ve Bookmarked In The Last Two Years

1. Kaboodle — The first and oldest website on the list, I’m pretty sure this is an aesthetically pleasing, Pinterest-meets-capitalism time succubus that I’ve come across on multiple occasions during my internet travels only to decide that “it’s pretty… but I don’t have time to look at it right now.” Sentiment still holds strong. I’m not sure what Kaboodle is or what function it serves. It just looks like something I should know about.

2. ChopinPlayer — Self explanatory. Widget that plays Chopin songs. Bookmarked pre-Spotify.

3. DIY Mason Jar Chandeliers — Not sure on my intentions bookmarking this page, as the only DIY I dabble in is my laundry. Mason jar chandeliers are a little too Manic Pixie Dream Girl for my personal tastes, although as someone who will probably never afford a chandelier or a room to put one in, this is a budget-conscious alternative. Can’t knock that.

4. Laundry Room Ideas: Cheer Up Your Chores — Believe it or not, I do have a laundry room that definitely needs some cheering up. Despite that, I recall now that I was working as a Social Media NINJA for a real estate company in the summer of 2010, which explains the DIY and laundry room feng-shui links on this list. Unfortunately for the .03% of you who were interested, this link appears to be dead now. RIP.

5. The Next Web Login — This was my login portal when I used to freelance for The Next Web. Now it just lands on their Social Media channel, where I published screeds on pressing matters such as who the coolest old person on Twitter is. Good gig.

6. Unemployment Benefits Online — Here’s where unemployed New York State residents go to get their weekly allowance from Uncle Sam. I had to visit this website once a week, every Monday, for three months. I hope to never visit it again.

7. 90s TV Shows — This is just a list of TV shows that existed in the 1990s with links to… I don’t know, their fan pages or something. Probably bookmarked this for reference or, sadder, inspiration.

8. Cooper: Photographer Cat — Cooper is a cat who wears a camera around his neck and snaps really chic photographs. His latest projects were apparently a “home shoot” (his first one!) and a photography show in some Seattle gallery because, obviously.

9. 60% Of Social Media Messages Are Links To Published Content — I’m not sure what my motives were for saving this article, but I imagine it was either research for an article I was writing or evidence that one of my social media clients was wrong about something.

10. Opium Magazine — This is actually a link to a piece of creative writing called “46 Years, 47 Questions.” I feel jealous that I didn’t think of it first.

11. Trio, “Da-da-da” — I just really like this song and was afraid I’d forget about it.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZviYmTMpBXE%5D

12. Excerpt from Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me by Mindy Kaling — Self explanatory. I still haven’t read the book, or the excerpt.

13. Homework Can Wait | Procrastinate With Us! — This site was labeled “Facebook.png” in my bookmarks list, so I’m pretty sure someone pulled the ol’ switcheroo on me. Now it’s some cesspool of memes that looks like a bajillion other websites of its kind. I feel mildly ashamed that this website is on my bookmarks, but not enough to remove it.

14. 14 Cool And Unusual Aquariums — This site won’t load for me, so it might be erased from the internet. I was kind of looking forward to seeing some cool and unusual aquariums, given that I’ve been disappointed by most of these bookmarks thusfar. This entire list has been an exercise in disappointment, I’m afraid.

15. 90s Popular Catch Phrase Quiz — Not sure why I would need to take this quiz more than once.

16. Russian Carpet — I was really intrigued by ‘Russian Carpet,’ but it’s just an expired domain name now. These bookmarks are raising more questions than they’re answering.

17. My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts — A guy I know recommended this Brian Eno/ David Byrne album because I was going through a Talking Heads phase. I still haven’t listened to it.

18. 20 Unexpected Cover Songs — Self explanatory.

19. Sesame Street: Paul Simon Singing “El Condor Pasa” — I love Paul Simon. I went on a binge and bookmarked a bunch of his live performances, including this Sesame Street appearance I never knew existed.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-yxH66-F-Y%5D

20. Paul Simon, Rayna Singing “Duncan” — This video made me cry (and if I remember correctly, it was the video that prompted my Simon bookingmarking spree, which I will cease to bore you with going forward). During a concert, a woman (later identified as Rayna) screamed out a song request so loudly that Simon heard her, pulled her on stage, gave her a guitar, and let her sing “Duncan” in front of a packed venue. The look on her face in between verses is priceless.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXBlY5CImUU%5D

21. The Jagged Edge “How Many Times” (1967) — The Jagged Edge was my dad’s band, way before I was born. I own their album, but this song isn’t on it. I think I found this song via Google stalking my dad. Welcome to the 21st century.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqvRNVgLIPQ%5D

22. Grammatical Tense, Wikipedia — This is relevant to my interests.

23. Narrative Mode, Wikipedia — I must’ve been on a grammar bender that day. My favorite part of this entry is unreliable voice — this is when a story has a suspect narrator, thus making his version of the story questionable. The most famous example of this is probably Holden Caulfield. I like the idea of unreliable voices, seems like these narrators are more compelling and human-like.

24. Sesame Street, Dogs Make Homemade Bread — LOL. The title and video are both extremely hilarious.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgQNx_aRZgk%5D

25. An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge — This is a short story by Ambrose Bierce, published in 1890. I only got through half of it. I bookmarked it with the intention of finishing it, but have no intention to do so unless someone gives me a reason to.

26. Read Giles Coren’s Letter to Times subs — This is a letter from British food critic Giles Coren to his editors, who tinkered with the last sentence of one of his articles. Coren’s slap down/meltdown is one for the record books. If you’re in a shit mood, this will make you smile.

27. The Levels of Greatness a Fiction Writer Can Achieve in America — A funny, depressing read by Tao Lin, published by the Stranger.

28. Proletarian Posters from 1930s Japan — My ex-boyfriend enjoyed (or collected, I don’t remember) propaganda art, which I also took a liking to, which explains this bookmark.

29. The Satirical Art of Paul Kuczynski — Polish-born artist Paul Kuczynski makes clever, socially aware artwork that at once depresses me and makes me smile.

30. Fun with Words: Collective Nouns — This is the most comprehensive list of how to pluralize animals that I’ve come across. Studying it is a quick and easy way to expand your vocabulary and sound like an asshole at dinner parties.