8 Reasons To Marry Redskins QB Robert Griffin III

I am here to talk about Robert Griffin III, the Redskins' quarterback, and what a flawless human being he is.

Updated 12 years ago, January 1, 2013

Last Sunday, the Washington Redskins made it to the playoffs for the first time since 1999 and became the NFC East champions over the Dallas Cowboys.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I am here to talk about Robert Griffin III, the Redskins’ quarterback, and what a flawless human being he is.

8 Reasons to Marry Robert Griffin III

1. He has a super awesome nickname.

He’s called “RG3,” which is great for chanting in a packed stadium but also, you get to become Your First Initial G 3 when you marry him. I’m pretty sure that’s how that works. (GG3, baby! That’s what you all will call me after he and I get hitched.)

2. He’s a 22-year-old bajillionaire.

Seriously, get on board. The kid is only gonna rise even more the more he plays. He’s gonna be making gold coins as a swimming pool kinds of money in like 2-3 years. Baller.

3. He’s so humble.

Nary an interview goes by where Robert Griffin III doesn’t give props to his running back Alfred Morris and his receivers. People try to make him out to be a solo superhero and he won’t allow it. He could revel in the compliments, but instead he chooses to shine a light on his fellow players because he couldn’t do it without them. It’s seriously so cute. Here he calls out my other boyfriend, Morris, and says he should win Rookie of the Year. HOW SWEET.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThyGjU-2Tec&w=600&h=350%5D

4. He’s got heart.

His knee is injured and he’s still playing — and running the ball (one of his major strengths). He gets banged up, tossed around, thrown in the dirt and he’s still going. He knows the team looks to him for support and he won’t let them down or seem shaken. His family also clawed their way up from poverty, living in a New Orleans project before RG3 went pro. He was also a military brat, born in Japan while his parents were deployed. He knows about sacrifice. (He also unfortunately can never run for President, which is a bummer because I would vote for him.) Imagine being married to someone that loyal, true and committed. No matter what you’re going through, RG3 will not bail on you.

5. He won’t crack under pressure.

I repeat: he is a rookie QB leading a team to the playoffs, voted captain of that team and keeps a cool head during all of this. He never really chokes or cracks. He’s willing to give up the spotlight, but also he can take it and run in touchdowns if he needs to.

6. He’s tough.

People have said some shitty things about RG3, calling into question his blackness and his relationship with his fiancee simply because she is white. But through it all, RG3 approaches the media with courtesy and wit. For something infuriating, watch this BS:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKTpj3QNR3U%5D

UGH. WHAT IS THAT EVEN. “CORNBALL BROTHER?” Really? You’re gonna criticize someone for not being “black enough” using that dumb phrase? PLEASE SHUT UP.

7. He’s smart.

Griffin was president of his high school senior class, went on to major in political science at Baylor and graduated with a 3.6, making the Dean’s List. Most college football players don’t major in political science, that’s for sure. But Griffin wasn’t taking his college education for granted while he just played football. If he didn’t get into the NFL, he still would have been solid. He was studying for a Masters in communication when he left school for the pros. Plus, in interviews, he comes across very composed and always says something insightful and intelligent. He’s not just a gridiron meathead. He’s a super smart dude.