22 Little Life Wins
Getting the username you actually wanted. Not since like 2001 has the ideal first choice panned out in my favor.
1. Stopping the gas pump on an even number. We as a unit probably spend millions trying to land precisely on a flat dollar amount instead of removing the pump and settling on some odd total.
2. Completely guessing the letters of a word and somehow managing to spell it correctly. Sometimes we even anticipate the all-knowing red line being under our butchered attempt, so when it isn’t there that’s a pleasant, unexpected win.
3. Flipping a pancake over perfectly without it breaking in half and creating a partially cooked, gooey batter mess.
4. Cutting wrapping paper and having the scissors glide seamlessly through as you slice up the perfect sheet. (And if you’re like me, proceed to ruin it by butchering the packaging process.)
5. Defying the laws of alcohol physics by drinking gallons of hard liquor but waking up feeling completely refreshed without the slightest symptoms of a lingering hangover.
6. Scoring fresh French fries instead of the stale batch that’s quality has been deteriorating under the warmer all day.
7. Hitting three or more consecutive green lights when you’re running late or in a rush to get somewhere.
8. Standing in a really long line and having a cashier unexpectedly open a new register and take you first to be checked out immediately.
9. The rare instance where the middle of your frozen dinner actually cooks with the rest of it.
10. Being assigned partners on a project with your crush at school back in the day.
11. Almost calling it a night and going home but instead staying out for what turns into an epic time that you would’ve hated yourself for missing.
12. Turning to the channel you were watching right when the commercial break ends, just in time for your returning TV show.
13. Getting the username you actually wanted. Not since like 2001 has the ideal first choice panned out in my favor.
14. Seeing the flashing red and blue lights rapidly approaching you, being certain that you and your bank account are about to have their week ruined via expensive tickets, and then having that cop car speed right past you toward his poor victim.
15. Any day that involves eating bacon, churros and something, anything a la mode.
16. Timing the preparation of a meal correctly so that everything is finished cooking simultaneously. The mashed potatoes aren’t freezing because they were done 45 minutes ago and the sides match the freshness of the centerpiece.
17. Trying all of the free samples of stuff you know that you’d never, under any circumstances consider buying.
18. Taking advantage of shopping the days following a holiday, as the themed products are on clearance for super cheap prices. Orange Halloween themed paper plates and napkins work just as efficiently after October 31st.
19. Opening the microwave with one second left on the timer right before the beep goes off. I personally celebrate like I’ve just diffused a bomb on the final tick.
20. Writing out a Tweet that’s exactly 140 characters long.
21. Telling a funny story or joke amongst friends but drawing bonus laughter from others within audible range.
22. Finally paying off a credit card. It’s like the final scene in a film where the main character kills the antagonist. But beware. Each additional credit card is an equally if not more terrible villain sequel. 
