Fred Durst’s 12 Most Inspirationally Awful Lyrics

Pretty much everyone hates Fred Durst, for a variety of reasons: his personality, his utter lack of authenticity or talent, his pioneering of the embarrassing “nu metal” rap/rock genre, his penchant for so accurately representing the zeitgeist of knuckle-dragging frat boys.

All of which is pretty fair, since Fred Durst is probably the worst frontman ever. He lacks both vocal ability and charisma, and his lyrics are unimaginably, transcendently awful. So read the worst of the worst below, and remember that this guy sold 33 million records by writing this, these lyrics that literally anyone could have written. Well, anyone could have written them after significant head trauma, at least.

After all, that’s what’s oddly inspiring about Fred Durst’s lyrics — you could have written them, but you didn’t. It’s like patting yourself on the back for not crapping your pants.

12. Boiler

Maybe life is up and down,
But my life’s been what till now?
I crawled up your butt somehow,
And that’s when things got turned around

Turned around for the better, or for the worse? What are you saying? You know what, I don’t even care. Just get out of my butt, dude.

11. Show Me What You Got

Comin’ raw with no corrections,
Savin’ all perfections for what I do with my erections

Say what you want about Fred Durst — apparently he’s perfect at sex. So, he’s got that to hang his hat on.

10. Trust?

I got a little bitty question…
What the f-ck are you thinkin’?
You think you’re all that and then some?
Well you’re not.
I think you’re dum ditty dum!!
I take it back,
Those thoughts are kinda whack.

That’s Fred being all like, “Wow, that was really lame, even for me… can I get that one back? Let’s all just pretend I didn’t say that, okay?”

9. Livin’ It Up

Pay me no mind,
I seen the Fight Club,
About 28 times,
And I’m a keep my pants sagging

(WOOOOOSH!)

Guy #1: What was that!?!

Guy #2: Don’t worry, it was just the sound of Fight Club flying over Fred Durst’s head.

8. Show Me What You Got

I thank God, mom & dad,
Adriana, the sky, for the love I feel inside,
Jordan, my phat ass band,
Without ‘em I’d be nothin’ but a pumpkin shoved inside a can

Well that’s sweet, he’s thanking everyone for his success… wait, what?

7. Indigo Flow

When I walk out on stage,
All headaches go away,
Got the back from the sickest road crew,
Chris and Bobby for sticking to it,
Sugar Ray taught me life was all about drinking

Fred’s always rapping about the bands he’s been on tour with, which I think is pretty cool, since he always comes across as legitimately humble and grateful for the experience. Unfortunately, it’s kind of lame when the artists in question are Sugar Ray. Especially when he’s all like, “Woah, those dudes in Sugar Ray know how to PARTY!” since Mark McGrath & Co. seem more like the kind of guys who say stuff like, “Where’s the Coronas at?” and “Make sure you get light beers, I have a photo shoot tomorrow.”

6. Phenomenon

Ain’t it funny how time flies? (Huh?)
Out of sight, out of mind (yeah right),
Once again back, it’s the incredible,
Subliminal, the inFredible D

He refers to himself as the inFredible D here, so… yeah, this one pretty much speaks for itself.

5. No Sex

It’s my ass and your perfume,
That make temptation hard to refuse,
So I guess we undressed,
To have sex…dirty sex

I’m going to go out a limb and say that I could steadfastly refuse the combination of Fred Durst’s ass and even the most intoxicating of perfumes. 10 times out of 10. And I could also live without the mental image of Fred having dirty sex.

4. Nobody Loves Me

Nobody loves me, nobody cares
Nobody loves me, nobody owes me a thing
Nobody loves me, nobody cares
Nobody loves me, maybe I’ll go eat worms

“No, Fred don’t do that… you don’t have to do that! We love you, okay? Put the worms down! We take back those things we said! Oh no, he’s really doing it — he’s eating the worms! Ah, gross!”

3. My Generation

Hey kid, take my advice,
You don’t want to step into a big pile of sh-t

Well, there’s one profession that Fred would have been even more ill-equipped for then lyricist/ frontman: advice columnist.

2. Nookie

I did it all for the nookie, c’mon,
The nookie, c’mon,
So you can take that cookie,
And stick it up your… yeah!

Arguably the most commonly known of all the Durst lyrics, the chorus from “Nookie” is just lazy. Nookie and cookie? Really? And why I am sticking the cookie up my ass, anyway? Fred definitely wrote this down on a napkin like three minutes before they recorded it. Also, I’m not sure why one of the most profane bands of the 90s couldn’t say “ass.”

1. I’m Broke

‘Cuz now it’s time to pay the piper,
Bums are the type of sh-t that’s in a diaper,
Don’t make me have to call a sniper,
And wipe your brains off my windshield wiper you dirty bug

Even when I was 13, I felt embarrassed for Fred when I heard this song. And let’s just say that 13-year-old me didn’t exactly have embarrassment to be sparing for other people, so that’s saying something.