I’m Sorry If You Thought Karma Was Your Friend

I’m sorry your relationship didn’t work out.
No, truly, I am.
I’m sorry that you threw away our friendship
to chase a guy
who left
and broke your heart
in the same way that he broke mine.
I’m sorry you didn’t honor my feelings
but still expected
everything between us
to be just fine.

I’m sorry you didn’t believe me,
or care about my experiences with him
enough to take any of them
into consideration
before you went behind my back.
I’m sorry you fell for those dishonest eyes,
instead of trusting the pain
you saw in mine.
I will never forgive you for that.

I’m sorry you shoved me aside
to run headfirst into failure.
I’m sorry you found more truth
in his lies
than in the tears
you repeatedly watched me cry.

I’m sorry the words
Best Friend and Betrayal
now both taste the same.
I’m sorry you were reckless,
or if you thought that any of this
was some kind of game.
I’m sorry you broke the rules,
and honestly expected
not to get played.

I’m sorry you thought it was okay
to mess around.
Because, baby girl,
even in the shallowest of waters,
dumbasses can still drown.
I hope you weren’t expecting loyalty,
especially when
in your own reflection
it can’t even be found.

I’m sorry he haunts
both of us now.
I’m sorry our trauma comes in similar shades,
both bearing the wounds of time
in the shape of the initials of his name.

I’m sorry you made bad decisions
and lost both of us in the end.
I’m sorry if Karma tricked you
into thinking she was your friend,
in the same way
that you
did to me.
The more time passes,
the more thankful I am
because I realize
I didn’t actually lose anything.