“Maniacal Grace” — Conversations over Stolen Food, Pt. 4 of 4
If I had hesitated (for example to tie my shoe) I’m sure we would have collided. She’d counted on the continuity of my my movement. I took part in mathematics of the most complex kind.
By Anonymous
8:30 p.m. Sunday, January 8
Union Square W.F.
J: When I walked back to my apartment today, a car, a a dri—as I walked back to my apartment today one driver made eye-contact with me, through her windshield, and allowed just enough time so I could cross an intersection before she passed through it. If I had hesitated (for example to tie my shoe) I’m sure we would have collided. She’d counted on the continuity of my my movement. I took part in mathematics of the most complex kind.
A: I do especially love that you…that in New York to hesitate means to cause others problems.
J: Yeah, since continuity remains the norm.
A: Now now do you think continuity can include fits of tension or violence, flare-ups, frustration? I for example, the other day, and I’ve been meaning to ask if—I gave a mom the finger…
J: But not…
A: in a station wagon: a mother and daughter. I didn’t see the girl until too late. The mom kept trying to turn though clearly I had a Walk sign. She honked um at the presence of my body.
J: This happened in Tribeca?
A: Outside MoMA.
J: Ok.
A: So I flipped them off. Now could you…afterwards I, instead of feeling guilty, felt attuned to the momentary slip that…
J: Well…
A: But I don’t know how she’d felt about it.
J: at first she might have felt insulted, but when she recalls the moment, if she does, I’m sure she considers your response appropriate. I remember crossing Broadway (around the mid-80s) as as a girl learning to drive turned an enormous SUV, nearly killing me, and we made eye-contact through the windshield, and so I started whacking off. I mean in an…I didn’t pull my—I I didn’t pull out my genitals; I’d simply, how should…
A: You gestured.
J: I gestured yeah, lewdly.
A: Though was this driver…
J: She seemed shocked.
A: accompanied? Did a driving coach accompany…
J: Yes, she and her mother stared with wide-open eyes.
A: Did they turn towards each other?
J: They looked much too frightened.
A: [Voices] glancing at my mom if, when swears came up in movies. Go…
J: Then after making my lewd gesture I crouched.
A: Did your hips rock as well?
J: I got totally into it. I swayed my hips. Pedestrians behind me started laughing. They too almost had been crushed. A large SUV can take out groups…
A: Sure. The driv…
J: without difficulty.
A: the driver wasn’t wearing sunglasses, was she? That would infuriate…
J: She wasn’t wearing sunglasses. Nor was the mom. I saw their large eyes fixate on on my gesture. I then stopped gesturing, pointed and began to laugh loudly, and then I passed through the intersection and spanked my rear then pointed back at them—one final time, and kept walking. This all took four to five seconds.
A: Of fluid motion?
J: Precisely. But I hadn’t left my apartment thinking Ah, the moment I encounter reckless drivers here’s what I’ll do. It came about naturally, and felt harmonious and continuous. I thank I thank the city for such episodes of maniacal grace. 
