6 Things I Learned From Ignoring My Heart And Avoiding My Feelings
Even though you aren't giving anyone else the chance to hurt you, you're hurting yourself.
1. I learned you’re going to have regrets whether you like it or not. Right now, you might feel like you’re doing the right thing by outrunning your emotions, but those emotions are meant to be felt. You should sit with them, even if they’re uncomfortable. You should analyze them and learn to accept them. Running from them might work for a while, but they’re eventually going to catch up to you. You’re going to have to deal with them eventually. It’s better for you to learn how to be emotionally mature at a young age than to get used to running at the first sign you might feel something.
2. I learned it’s just as painful to pretend you feel nothing. You might feel like you’re saving yourself some trouble by pretending to be heartless and acting like you couldn’t care less about what others think, but you’re not actually protecting yourself. You’re isolating yourself. Even though you aren’t giving anyone else the chance to hurt you, you’re hurting yourself. You’re going through pain anyway. You’re causing the exact thing that you’ve been trying to prevent. Isn’t it better to take a risk on someone, knowing you could potentially end up hurt, than to lock your heart away knowing you’re definitely going to be hurt?
3. I learned there’s anything embarrassing about acting vulnerable. Being comfortable expressing your vulnerability is a strength. You shouldn’t be embarrassed about talking through your emotions, about admitting what’s on your mind, about feeling in general. You’re human. You have emotions. Whether or not you express those emotions makes all the difference.
4. I learned it’s not fair to you to act like you’re okay when you’re not. You’re doing yourself a disservice by lying about your feelings. Lying about being okay means you’re settling for less than you deserve. It means you aren’t speaking up and explaining how you expect a change. Remember, it’s not greedy to want a beautiful future for yourself. It’s not selfish to have high expectations for the people surrounding you. You’re allowed to have opinions and thoughts and complaints. You’re allowed to talk about how you feel.
5. I learned the right person isn’t going to magically make you feel okay with expressing your emotions. They’re going to give you a safe place to express yourself. They’re going to encourage you to open up and be patient when you’re not ready. But they can’t magically make you feel comfortable doing something you’ve never done before. You have to put in that effort yourself. You have to decide you’re ready.
6.I learned it’s never easy to put your heart on the line. Even if you get into the habit of being more open about your emotions and telling the world how you feel, it’s not always going to feel comfortable. It’s not always going to be easy to do. However, it will be worth the trouble. The risk will be worth the reward. You don’t have to shout your feelings into the open after an entire lifetime of locking your emotions inside, but you should consider letting your guard down for the right people. You’ll be surprised by how refreshing it feels.