Lean Into Your Light And Never Look Back

The thought of you makes me nauseous

I used to feel like a boomerang with you

Trying, fighting for your attention and approval

But you never intended on loving me

You didn’t care

You knew my biggest fears

You asked for the key to the chamber I vowed to never open

The chamber to my mind where only my heart could be accessed

The place where happiness goes to die

Because fear has protected me from these emotions

From these tears and countless hours of crying

About you, about love, about the loss of my identity

From countless distractions that were only caused by worthless men

You never cared

So why did I believe you?

The painful truth wants to keep me asleep to not think of the wasted time

I was a slave to the idea of us

Defying generational curses with the four letter word I feared: love

Not anymore

Thank God for the clarity

Thank Him for the lessons

Pick yourself up and move forward

It takes time, but happiness is possible

Lean into your light and never look back.

To the girl scared of love

To the girl who thinks love is weak

The strong girl scared to be seen and see herself

To the girl who seeks her worth from others instead of your creator

To the girl scared to open up

To the girl who foolishly put all her eggs in one basket

To the girl who could not trust her heart because her mind protected her all these years

To anyone that fears rejection

To anyone that felt the disconnection spin their life out of control

To the one that believed their words but ignored their actions

Despite all the barriers you have created to protect your emotions

You too are capable of love

You too are worthy

You too deserve the world and an experience to love without suffering first

To all that can relate, love yourself first with intention.