Here’s Why You Keep Attracting Narcissists (And How You Can Stop)
The red flags were there. But you fell in the same trap again, didn’t you? Charming, attentive, loving, or so they seemed at first, only to turn out manipulative, punishing, and cold.
Why?
People who tend to attract these kinds of partners often ask themselves why they are narcissist-magnets. More importantly, they are keen on finding ways to stop the pattern from repeating itself.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can leave a person emotionally wrecked. They may also live in fear of the same thing happening again with a new partner.
According to the Recovery Village, a treatment service centre, 1 in 200 people have a narcissistic personality disorder. 75% of these people are men.
There are very few things that are more destructive than being in a relationship with a narcissist. Below are a few reasons why you may be perfect narcissist “bait” and some tips on how to stop the cycle. Because you can.
1. You Are An Empath
As an empath, you are nurturing, good-hearted, and have a lot to give. In fact, you are probably everything a narcissist will never be. This is heaven for a narcissist. You have lots of love, care, and attention to offer. You are a good listener.
It’s exactly what he/she craves: constant flattery and for you to take care of all their worries. This helps to fill the empty void inside of them, yet this is also when they start to take advantage of you.
TIP: Know that setting boundaries is not rude, it’s essential. You have to know when you are giving too much. Nobody should walk all over you.
The moment you get a gut feeling something isn’t right, listen to it. As an empath, you have an incredible instinct for picking up on weird vibes. Use it. And then leave. A narcissist will never recognize their flaws or faults, so it is up to you to protect yourself from further harm. They will never change (no matter how much you want them to).
2. You Are Used To This Kind Of Behavior
Unfortunately, many of us don’t know any better. Breaking the cycle becomes a lot harder when you grew up with a narcissist parent or caregiver.
Perhaps this parent didn’t show you any love or controlled your every movement. Maybe they abused you physically or emotionally. Sometimes it feels like second nature to pick a partner with similar traits.
TIP: Years of being raised by a narcissist parent can leave deep traumatic wounds on a person. Working with a therapist or another trained professional will be beneficial as you begin to make sense of your past.
Letting things out will help you break free from the chains.
3. You Have People-Pleasing Traits
It feels good to make others feel happy, I get it. It’s when you start to deny your own needs for them that problems arise.
When you base your self-worth on how much someone likes you, it just isn’t gonna work out. You can never please a narcissist. They’re selfish and they will keep raising the bar on how to keep them happy. To them, what you do will never be enough. It’s a lose-lose situation.
TIP: If you feel as though you can never keep your partner happy, and they are constantly making you feel like a failure, this is a sure sign your relationship is destined for failure. Get yourself out of the relationship and find someone who does appreciate the small things you do for them.
4. You Have Low Self-Esteem
If you don’t love yourself, you’re much more likely to accept poor treatment from someone else. You become a lot easier to manipulate because you don’t think highly of yourself.
Narcissists like to make themselves feel better at the expense of others. Don’t let yourself be the victim. Besides, low self- esteem is not a healthy trait to have.
TIP: You need to realize your own self-worth so that people don’t take advantage of you.
Try writing down three things you like about yourself each day on a piece of paper. If you struggle with ideas, you can ask your friends what traits they like most about you. Repeating positive self-affirmations can also help to boost your self-esteem.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist (or with several in a row) can leave a person feeling hopeless, weak, and damaged. But following these tips should help you get back on track to finding self-love, self-worth, and eventually a healthy relationship where you feel truly valued.
