I May Never Be Enough For You, But I’m Enough For Me
This is a proclamation to the naysayers in your life. This is you stepping up to own who you are.
My existence is not enough to you, but I will carry on living anyway.
They wished that I looked prettier.
They comment about the acne on my face, the dimple prominent on my right cheek, and the lack of hair in my eyebrows.
Yet I am content with how I look. My existence may not be enough for them, but I will carry on living anyway.
They wished that I could fix what is imperfect on me.
They comment about the odd shape of my teeth, hinting that I should have braces, telling me about all these other beautiful people who got their teeth done.
Yet I have learned to love who I am over these years. My existence may not be enough for them, but I will carry on living anyway.
They wished that I was more attractive.
They comment about the shape of my body, eyeballing what I put on my plate to see if I am eating too much, and remind me about the importance of being pretty in this world.
Yet I have been on a long journey of self-love and acceptance. I may have off days where I feel bloated. I may have put on a bit of weight. I may not fit their ideal standard of beauty, but what matters is that I am keeping healthy and well. I can improve, not at their pace, but at mine.
They wished I fit society’s standard of what a lady is.
They comment about how often I speak my mind, saying, “Girls and women should be seen and not heard.” They comment about how loud I am, especially when I am offering an opinion contrary to theirs.
Yet I have been keeping myself in check. I am aware when I get too passionate and I need to tone my thoughts down. I am aware when I feel my own anger rising. I am conscious about providing my opinion in the gentlest way possible to ensure it is not taken as an offence. My unwillingness to step in the box they had created for me does not make me any less worthy as a person.
They wished I was good enough.
They comment about how people of my age are already doing great things, commenting about how I should be studying more so that I can get my life together, commenting about the “if onlys” and the “what ifs” of things that are currently unattainable.
Yet I had to learn for myself that all of us have our own pace in this life. Just because someone my age is doing something amazing and has already reached the next stage of their life does not mean that I should be expected to do the same. In fact, I am inspired by these people and their achievements. However, I should not be guilt-tripping myself for not achieving what society says I should be at the age I am at.
They wished I could be better.
They wished I was enough for them.
At the end of the day, they wished I was them because they wished that on many others.
I am not enough for them. In fact, I may never be.
But I am enough for me. I am accepting that I can be who I am. I am learning to understand the way God sees me.
My existence may never be enough to you, but I will carry on living anyway.
