Year: 2012
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Yeah Trick, I AM Wearing Leggings As Pants. Wanna Fight About It?
Does the shirt cover four inches of crotch/thigh area, AT LEAST? Are the leggings somehow embellished to make them more "pant-like"?
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The 10 Best Fictional Boyfriends
Whether you like him in his clean-shaven, hopeful early days, or his scruffy, overgrown, widow-boning, depressed days, Noah is inarguably one of the greatest fictional boyfriends to ever not exist…
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Short Men, Eww, They’re Genetically Deformed
Height signifies, if not biological strength, then a glow of social supremacy.
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I Really Hate Alcohol
Whenever I’m in a drinking situation and somebody new finds out that I generally stay away from alcohol, the first thing they do is tilt their head, furrow their brows…
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32 Ways To Make Me Fall In Love With You
Lend me your sweater with the vague-and-absolutely-correct notion that I will be keeping it.
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I’m Not In Love With You Anymore
I don’t not-love you in a way that deserves a song. I just don’t. It is the most anti-climatic thing in the world, falling out of love.
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How To Shop At Target In 20 Simple Steps
Come across something that you don’t need, need -- but you’re convinced that you could really use (e.g. new bath towels, a Frappuccino maker, etc.). Place all of them in…
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I Have Herpes And It’s Not The End Of The World
The "accepted" reason that herpes is not part of a standard screening is that unless you have an outbreak, herpes is generally harmless and it doesn't affect your quality of…
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I Am Tired Of Competing With Other Women
I know, if I am being honest with myself, that my harshest judgments and strictest standards are almost always reserved for other women, by reflex that I often cannot realize…
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A Playlist Of Songs To Freak Out To
Andrew WK makes freak out songs. (He pretty much built his career off of them.) So does Japandroids. So does Titus Andronicus.
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34 Ways To Get Over Someone
Don't worry about 'winning' the breakup. You're not going to become the first ballerina president astronaut unicorn by the next time they look at your Facebook, so don't waste time…
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12 Reasons You Should Never Meet Your Hero
It may be hard to believe, but “I'm your biggest fan,” is about the least impressive thing you can say to someone who hears it almost constantly -- in fact,…
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5 Awesome Books For People Who Hate To Read Books
The kind of books I like to read are the ones that snap, crackle, and pop off the page. They're exciting, they're funny, and they usually involve heroin addiction. I…
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A Guide To Dating Someone Who Hates Themselves
Never take their mother’s side. Never.
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16 Tips For Being Cool At Parties
If it’s BYOB, bring your own beer. If it’s a toga party, wear a toga. If it’s a search party, bring a flash light and tempered expectations.
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Stop Telling That Pathetically In-Love Dude To “Just Get Over It”
Boy meets Girl. Boy likes Girl. Girl sort of likes Boy, but conceals that she’s not quite as interested because, who knows? She might be more into it one day,…
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and i miss you
i cannot keep my room clean, can't keep my headphones from tangling and my music from blasting and the pen from bleeding through the page, and the stairs from leading…
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21 Questions I Have For People In Long-Term Relationships
Is it possible to be 100 percent honest all the time and not hurt the other person's feelings?